Your Money Mindset (Pt 1: Back to Childhood Memories)
Nov 23, 2022
Do you innately believe money is good or evil?
Be honest π..
To answer this question, you must look at what’s lying below the surface. What is your gut telling you?
Do you secretly believe money is your birthright, or do you silently worry you don’t deserve it?
Does the thought of thinking about money make you anxious?
There is a groundbreaking study that identified four core money beliefs established at childhood that drive our financial behavior habits.
The study explained that these subconscious beliefs, often shaped by our parents and early childhood memories, become the lens through which we approach our finances throughout our adult lives.
Think about your earliest money memories and feelings about money and determine how comfortable or uncomfortable you are dealing with your finances as an adult.
Do you know these earliest memories shaped how we are about finances as an adult?
Think about the memories and write them down. For example, maybe it was when you found money under the couch and hid it from your brother or sister. Maybe it was Grandma giving you $20 each year for doing something spectacular.
Maybe it was your parents telling you we can’t afford that so get something that’s cheaper. Whatever it is that was your earliest childhood memory of money, write it down.
The reason why this is essential, is that finance experts Brad and Ted Klontz developed a concept around what our money beliefs are built on:
Developed in childhood
Often passed down from generation to generation in family systems
Typically, unconscious
#MY CHILDHOOD MEMORY
When I was growing up, I remember one of my earliest money memories was when I asked my mom for a cell phone in junior high school. My mom would say, “If you save the last $20 out of the amount of money you get from us or others then you will have enough saved up to get a prepaid phone.” Of course, I thought about how I would do that. I am only in junior high school and the only job I had was braiding hair part-time.
I thought about it and decided to accept the challenge. When I graduated from 8th grade and started high school, I remember saving enough money to buy a prepaid phone and minute card(s) so I could use the phone. At that time that seemed like a dream come true, to have my first prepaid phone that I was responsible for was amazing, so I thought. I had to add minutes each month on it, or I couldn’t use it.
# MY FIRST LESSON
This was my first lesson on saving money, and not spending everything I got. My mom always taught me that no matter what you earn, never spend your last $20, save it for a rainy day.
I learned that money was something you earned if you worked hard and never spent it all at one time, you must save because a rainy day will come.
#HOW I FELT?
I loved that feeling, of doing something difficult and reaping the rewards. Later I realized that my parents were teaching me how to work hard, be independent, and the importance of taking responsibility. I was the oldest child, and I always felt like things were a little different or harder for me, because I had to set the tone or be the leader for my siblings.
Let’s discuss several important factors of money:
1. Your Parents Attitudes About Money
In a family our parents play one of the most critical roles of often being the only source of information about money.
So naturally, their attitudes, behaviors and beliefs in some way rub off on us rather than whether we see that or not. In life, we can’t pick our families, but we can control how our families and upbringings affect us in adulthood.
You can pick up the good habits from your family and leave behind the not so good habits. One of the things for me was that I inherit the gift of finance, accounting, and entrepreneurship from my mom.
I fully embraced accounting and finance at a young age when I saw that I had a strong love for math. I was a numbers girl to the core. Even in adulthood I am still a numbers woman.
THINKING ZONE
How did your family handle money?
DId they talk about it?
Was it a subject avoided?
Did other family members talk about money with each other?
Did they talk about financial freedom and the importance of it?
Over the course of life, I heard it all before, the wife & mother who keeps money a secret from her spouse, the kids who are given weekly allowance for household chores, the parents who buy and give their children all the branded and most expensive clothes, toys, & other items.
The father who sits down and teaches his kids how to invest and save money. I met people from different cultural backgrounds, upbringings, beliefs, values and heard numerous stories of family money memories.
Write down what your parents’ relationship with money is?
2. Your Parents’ Money Motto
The best way to think about your family’s attitude toward money is to remember if there are certain sayings about money often used.
For example, save for a rainy day and it takes money to make money. Even if you didn’t believe the phrase from your childhood, it is probably something that pops up in your head as an adult. A common phrase I remember hearing, is it's only money.
Meaning money doesn’t equal happiness. You can gain the whole world and still lose it all and can’t take it with you when you leave this world. This is a reason why I always remained humble and didn’t let money determine my happiness.
Now, let’s consider the ways these childhood beliefs and attitudes have shaped our own beliefs and attitudes today. Based on your upbringing, are you positive or negative toward money?
Do you believe money is good or evil? Are you obsessed with money? Do you get anxious about money or angry when it comes to money?
You believe money is a source of happiness. If this is you, that means you tend to believe money can solve your problems. Money is a positive reward for your hard work and a tool to elevate your life.
So now you know how your childhood affects your money mindset… Now for my personal tips… Read the next part.
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